05-11-2017, 08:17 PM
when your life becomes a shit storm
that never seems to end....but you know it has to
07-14-2017, 11:44 AM
The missus said that next doors dog had just shit in our garden. I told her to get the shovel and throw it over the fence, she came in scratching her head. 'Now they've got our shovel and we've still got their dog shit.
09-30-2017, 01:29 PM
Putin, man enough to carry a rack:
unlike that jenner gal ....
10-12-2017, 03:53 PM
Four old Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, “My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.”
The second Catholic man chirps, “My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Grace’.”
The third Catholic gent says, “My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says ‘Your Eminence’.
The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, “My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Holiness’.”
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, The four men give her a subtle, “Well….?”
She proudly replies, “I have a daughter, SLIM & TALL, 40 D BUST, 24 inch WAIST and 34 inch HIPS!”
When she walks into a room, people say, ‘JESUS
11-04-2017, 01:16 PM
A teacher asks her pupils to discuss what their dads do for a living. Little Mary says: "My Dad is a lawyer. He puts bad people in jail." Little Jack says: "My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better." All the kids in the class had their turn except little Johnny. The teacher says: "Johnny, what does your Dad do?" Johnny says: "My Dad is dead." "Oh.....I'm sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died?" "He went, "Urrrrgghh...arrrghh...and then shit himself...."
11-12-2017, 02:02 PM
12-15-2017, 08:11 PM
12-29-2017, 11:51 AM
Son: Why is my sister called Teresa?
Dad: Coz your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram
Son: Thanks dad
Dad: No problem Alan
At a wedding in Germany I whispered to a guy next to me,
"Isn't the bride a right ugly dog"
"Do you mind. That's my daughter you're talking about"
"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were her father''...
"I'm not . . . I'm her fucking mother.
12-29-2017, 12:19 PM